HeadsCarolinaTailsCalifornia: Happy Birthday, Mom.

Happy Birthday Mom. Can't think of anything else to say than what I wrote below. Still miss her.

This is my first blog entry since July of 2011 when I traveled cross country with my husband and parents. I picked Mother's Day to write again because this is my first one without my mother and our trip across country was one of the greatest experiences I have ever had with her. It has been fun to look back on that trip.

Here is what I have been thinking lately. Hang with me, it starts a little dark, but it gets better.

High School

I hate that my mom died.
I hate that I can't see her, call her, talk to her.
I hate cancer and heart disease.
I hate that she will never meet, Ivy, Ruby, River or Violet.
I hate to cry.

I regret not spending more time with her.
I regret moving so far away.
I regret causing her grief as a teen and young adult.
I regret spending so much time discussing politics, instead of God's love for us.

I loved our conversations about books, movies, life.
I loved the way she loved my husband like he was her own son.

Disneyland Date

I loved her early Saturday morning phone calls.
I loved her cooking.
I loved the way she loved animals, especially dogs.
I loved her strength of character, and just her strength.
I loved the way she loved me.

I thank God for giving me the Mom I had.
I thank God for her love and commitment to her family.
I thank God for His presence and love during this time of mourning.
I thank God for my husband, my family, my church family and my friends.
I thank God for my children and grandchildren, they are the joy of my life.
I thank God for my mother's life.